last terawih 1432H

in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.

random reasons to think this evening:

he has no idea how much in love i am with him.
and it's all with His permission and their acceptance.
praise be to Him.

i pray that this is the first and last Ramadan and Eid alone.
next year, i want to greet both months with him and them in front of my eyes.
God willing.

tomorrow morning, neuroscience will greet my senior year at 8am.
i've never been so nervous about a class before, and i thought statistic did the job.
guess not.
and physiology of human diseases will wish me a good night on the first day of my senior year at 5pm.
God willing.

i'm homesick.
and just finished making kuih almond london and cornflakes.
roommate is the reason why i'm doing a-okay.
not to say that tears haven't flowed.
glory be to Him.

eid mubarak to all :)
may all our good deeds and prayers during the blessed month be accepted.

selamat hari raya :)
maaf zahir dan batin atas semua salah silap saye.

subaidah #7

one day, three autumns.
if you knew how i felt, would that change anything?

missing love

 It was narrated from Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Three prayers are not rejected: the prayer of a father, the prayer of a fasting person, and the prayer of a traveler.” 

(Narrated by al-Bayhaqi, 3/345; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Saheeh 1797.)

a sudden wind of homesickness passed by


subaidah #6

an exchange of words when it is love.

her: You love to take picture of me when I look terribly messy and when I am mad at you. 
him: That's because it would be easier for me to tell whenever you are mad at me.
him: And i want you to know though your messy and mad face could even make me smile every time i see it...

"Never come looking for me again, now we're estranged, your beloved is no more. so leave with your memories, memories of laughter and tears, now we're estranged, your beloved is no more." (Mujhse Dosti Karoge)

subaidah #5

today, a year ago, was the day she received the small bag,
that would forever mark her heart.
mind wandering back, only becoming a snap of that footage,
it was a dramatic state of art,
on how her heart was stolen. 

it's merdeka, student-style!

in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.


there is something about school that will never be missed,
perhaps it's the long sleepless week,
maybe overworked brain cells,
definitely the overpriced textbooks,
but a place of this heart remains dedicated to education,
the need to have colors of highlighters,
pencil marks all over the sleeves of the shirt,
papers scattered everywhere,
but for now, it's merdeka here for two weeks!


"he who has not endured the stress of study will not taste the joy of knowledge." 
(abd al-latif al-baghdadi)

final week, summer 2011

in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.

the melody of the stomach,
the lullaby that reaches the eyes,
the overwork of the hands and brain,
none of which can stop her from striving,
for only He knows the outcome.

"and that there is nothing for man except what he tried, his efforts shall be seen. And rewarded to fullest extent." (al-Quran 53:39-41)

(untitled)

what is this love that keeps growing for him,
for it still feels unexpected,
yet trapped at each corner of the heart,
only to reveal itself as tears?

"cause i wish you were here with me still, instead of this faraway love." -Rome

5th Ramadan 1432H

in His name, most Loving, most Gracious.

it was an emptiness i felt from their presence and his busy-ness that dragged me to the masjid today,
where i found an indescribable solace in the midst of sisters greeting each other and little kids running around calling their mama and baba. there were more unfamiliar faces than familiar -- but those that were familiar, greeted and immediately ask of my parents. then i realized, how blessed i truly am. for these are the people that kept us in their thoughts and prayers. i pray that amii and walid and adik2 will always be loved and remember where ever they are at as they were here.

iftaar was sponsored and prepared by four college boys (and maybe with a little help), may Allah shower them with His blessings and mercies. nothing about the masjid has changed, the same brother led the prayers (this is when i miss them -- commenting on the slow, beautiful recitations), the same layout, the same smell, just different smiles and the little kids i use to teach at Sunday School have made me officially feel old and short. other than that, it was a breezy night with clear sky up above.

until then, i'll keep missing the six plus the four-legged creatures. fi'amanillah.







“It is better to sit alone than in company with the bad; and it is better still to sit with the good than alone. It is better to speak to a seeker of knowledge than to remain silent; but silence is better than idle words.” (Bukhari)

8/3/2010

ya Ramadhan,
you shine full and bright,
bringing us the Message on a blessed month.
you were much awaited,
patiently anticipated,
dreaming with hope.
what are these tears, that I cry for this world,
will you take me back on the Path of the Almighty.
why are these voices raising higher and rougher,
will you tone it  back down to the level of humility.

ya Ramadhan,
you fill an empty heart,
bringing us a message of remembrance to this forgetful self.
you are dear to an empty soul,
for you brought Love back to the heart.

tick tock tick tock

in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.

while waiting for iftaar on this 5th Ramadhan of 1432H, just wanted to share the my lab experiences.
one in particular was "urine lab" where we had to bring our own "sample" and test the "sample". We test for levels of concentrations, pH level, glucose, ketone, protein, etc :)

Yeay! Time to set up the table for iftaar. Happy iftaar and happy fasting to all. Fi'amanillah.

Tada!

I told loves that's Gatorade Sport Drink

 Health result

1 Ramadhan 1432H

in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful. and peace be upon you.

*burrrrppppp* alhamdulilah :)
frankly speaking, i miss walid reciting the prayer to break our fast and i miss the taste of amii's food melting away in my tongue and dancing in my stomach until my eyes get tired.
and now, i know that i would not trade spending Ramadhan with my family with anything in this world... nothing!
if it was possible to swim the ocean and reach home before sunset, i would have done it in a heartbeat.

this is for amii who is constantly concern (and i love her for it) about what i shove down my throat :) sry no gambar today... forgot. 
menu: bihun goreng (roomate's recipe), apples, and o'malia's french fries... sad huh? but what to do when school is one's priority... not even sleep. hopefully, i can be a bit more adventurous in the kitchen when the semester is over. i miss home.

until then. fi'amanillah.