this heart

this heart that always seeks,
this heart that sometimes forget to give thanks,
this heart that needs constant reminders,
this heart that trembles stronger than a nine-point-five magnitude,
at the remembrance of how close He truly is.

And We are nearer to him than his jugular vein. [50:16]

unspoken feeling

 in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful

watch me walk, far in distance from your side.
hear me utter the words of love, that is only of sound to your ears.
feel my touch, only caressing a passing by sensation.

embark with me a journey for the Garden of sweets, for if you wish.
but hate me not, if i've walked too far into the light. 
wasting no time, i wait not for you to leave,
what was behind, a feeling that you should have been left long ago.
for when a golden band, shine brightly on the finger that leads to the heart, 
reflecting my heart and my face,
that time has come when my shadows can't be seen nor follow,
becoming only an image you imagine from afar.



Allah says, "I have planned for my pious servants what no eye has seen before, what no ear has heard before, and what no one has imagined." [hadith Qudsi]

reminder to self

in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful. and peace be upon you.
 A hadith narrated by Abu 'Abbas 'Abdullah, says:
"Remember Allah in times of ease, and He will recognize
you in times of distress"

for you and Him

to tell you that i love you,
it would be an endless whispers in your ears.

to tell you that i miss you,
it would create a feeling of wishful thinking to be with you all the time.

to thank you,
it would take more than just words.

to pray for you,
is a whisper,
a wishful thinking,
and words,
from the bottom of my heart,
that only Allah can convey to you.

to tell you that i love you,
i hope you believe.

to tell you that i miss you,
i hope you understand.

to thank you,
i hope you value.

to pray for you,
i hope Allah hears,
and answers.

faithful

just as the moon and stars are faithful to the night sky,
just as the sun is faithful to the morning breeze,
just as the curve of the cheeks is faithful to the smile it creates,

will your heart be just as firmly faithful?

fi'amanillah. 



today

in His name, the Giver, the All-Knowing.
and peace be upon you.

today,
i felt tears drop onto the palm of my hands,
realizing how small i am,
not knowing what is going on,
except through the words that appear before the screens,
and the sound waves through my ears.

today,
i felt tears drop onto the palm of my hands,
praying that everything over there is still fine.


thank you aunty!

in His name, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

and peace be upon you.

as i was studying for my exam, a little voice said, "You've Got Mail". okay not really, that's old school. how cool would it be if they still have that little yellow AIM dude that says, "You've Got Mail". those were the days when you received ONE email and can get so excited... now you can just be lazy to even respond. i am so guilty as charge... a habit that needs to die too. my apologies if i've done it to anyone that reads this :)

anyways, here's what she said,


"Segala ujian is to develope kesabaran dan kesyukuran . This test will  always pass our way and selalulah kita beringat agar akhirnya kita selamat dunia dan akhirat . Ujian juga will develope our keyakinan towards Allah swt and strengthen our faith. Jangan if Allah do not grant our wishes and we have bad sangkaan buruk terhadapnya. so kita kena bersyukur dalam apa jua keadaan and we shall see more of Allah bounties if we pause and ponder."


And she ended the email with a some words to ponder as I embrace this journey in my life of loving, learning, and seeking.


Bila engkau memandang segalanya dari Tuhanmu 
yang menciptakan segalanya, 
yang menimpakan ujian, 
yang menjadikan sakit hatimu, 
yang membuat keinginanmu terhalang, 
serta menyusahkan hidupmu, 
pasti akan damailah hatimu kerana, 
masakan Allah sengaja mentakdirkan segalanya untuk sesuatu yang sia-sia... 
Bukan kerana Allah tidak tahu derita hidupmu, 
retaknya hatimu, 
tapi mungkin itulah yang DIA mahu, 
kerana DIA tahu, 
hati yang sebeginilah yang lebih lunak, 
mudah untuk dekat dan akrab dengan-NYA...

i don't know if there's ever enough that i can do to show her my thank. but i know that with prayers for her and family, a wind will pass her by my words of appreciation. aunty, i know you don't read this and probably won't ever and not even words are enough to thank you. but i must do this, i must tell the world of your generosity and of your words, in hopes that another person can also be as touched and motivated as me. Thank you for constantly giving me good advice, being patient with me, and thank you for your doa's for me and my family. i am blessed to have met such a great hearted person like you. may Allah bless you always!

subaidah

remember our promises?
remember our plans?
will we hold fast to our bonds of affection?

All Praise is due to Him

8:45 am. february 7th, 2011. all praise is de to Him.

in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful

and peace be upon you.

truly, all praise is indeed due to Him.

this restless heart, 

was sleepless as the moon and the star wishes goodnight.

this restless heart,

repeatedly seek His guidance.

truly, all praise is indeed due to Him.

and now this heart knows,

the reason of a restless and sleepless night.

all it needed was a night of remembrance of Him. 

truly, all praise is indeed due to Him.

"oh Allah, protect my family and the ones i love. bless them with your unsurmountable blessings and mercies. for truly, all praise is indeed due to You."

Longing and Desires

In His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.
And peace be upon you.
Imam Ja’far Al-Sadiq was a scholar of scholars- he is known to have taught Imam Malik, Imam Abu Hanifa and Sufyan Ath-Thawri, among others. The late Sheikh Ash-Sha’rawi describes him as having the most knowledge of the Qur’an. Below is his advice given to Sufyan Ath-Thawri:
“Sufyan, if you have a blessing and wish to enjoy it for long, then continue to praise God and thank Him for it. Allah has said in the Qur’an:
‘If you are thankful, I will give you more’ [Surat Ibrahim, 14:7]
And if you feel that your sustenance is slow coming, seek God’s forgiveness repeatedly. For God says:
‘Ask forgiveness of your Lord: He is ever forgiving. He will send down abundant rain from the sky for you; He will give you wealth and children; He will provide you with gardens and rivers.’ [Surat Noah, 71:10-12]
Sufyan, when you have a problem weighing heavily on you, say: ‘No power works except by God’s leave’. That is the key to its disappearance and one of the treasures of Paradise.”

(courtesy of tarbiyyah online)

friday night

in His name, most Gracious, most Forgiving.

in between the hours of life, the hours of school,
is the hours of remembrance and seeking for guidance.

collide

i know that deep in your heart,
you still miss the ways,
everything that was between you and her.

each time you compare,
unknowingly i understand.

for if moving on is what you are afraid of,
then call her name,
for my name will only be echoed back into your ears,
and bounced into your heart,
as you move forward.

one day,
and sooner than later,
one can you only hold,
leave what was behind,
for it was never meant that you march forward.

hear these words,
feel these aches,
for this words are of reality.

truly, is this the beginning of a heart ache?

Blessings to mankind

in His name, more Gracious, most Merciful.

And among His Signs in the creation of the heavens and the earth,
and the variations in your languages and your colors;
Verily in that are Signs for those who know. 

(Ar-rum, 22)



in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.

O mankind!
We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female,
and made you into nations and tribes,
that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise each other).
Verily the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is,
(he who is) the most righteous of you.
And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted,
(with all things).

(Al-hujurat, 13)

for if there's...

for if there's a day when our eyes meet,
it is at which point no struggle can't be overcome.

for if there's a moment where we find silence,
let it be of a remembrance of Him together followed by the curve of the sides of our lips.

for if there's time when tears shed,
be it for the impatient of being together in the Garden.

for if there's a blessing for us,
tie the knot for letting go isn't an option.


In His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.

"And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought."

(Ar-rum, 21)