people say that you don't know what you have until you've lost it...
but what if i want to know what i have BEFORE i lose it...
He may give you something and then take it back after (2.28)
for you, a hundred times over
in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.
there exists a weakness in the matter of this heart.
but He's been too good.
veiling things that may shatter it,
unveiling things that may strengthen it.
in just days,
it's time to leave this home away from them.
it will remain as a part of an over-filled memory box.
somethings can't be forgotten,
unfinished business will remain, but it will be taken care of.
this is to be certain,
because Faith is all that is left.
for you, and for them.
this will have to be goodbye for now,
but what awaits in the future,
makes the next hello worth it all.
where things may be stuck, there's Help,
and in His name,
to the blue box,
this silver band of promises will return home,
because what is not broken, can be strengthen,
and what is strengthen, can be weakened.
there exists a weakness in the matter of this heart.
but He's been too good.
veiling things that may shatter it,
unveiling things that may strengthen it.
in just days,
it's time to leave this home away from them.
it will remain as a part of an over-filled memory box.
somethings can't be forgotten,
unfinished business will remain, but it will be taken care of.
this is to be certain,
because Faith is all that is left.
for you, and for them.
this will have to be goodbye for now,
but what awaits in the future,
makes the next hello worth it all.
where things may be stuck, there's Help,
and in His name,
to the blue box,
this silver band of promises will return home,
because what is not broken, can be strengthen,
and what is strengthen, can be weakened.
the end in timeless
in His name, the Almighty, the All-Knowing.
how do i capture what my eyes see?
how do i seal what my heart feels?
how i bottle up this town?
the smell, the smiles, the light wind that gently touches my delicate skin.
maybe i will return,
or maybe it will be a bittersweet goodbye.
but, it will always be where i left a part of my love.
 |
| IUB, March 2012 |
how do i capture what my eyes see?
how do i seal what my heart feels?
how i bottle up this town?
the smell, the smiles, the light wind that gently touches my delicate skin.
maybe i will return,
or maybe it will be a bittersweet goodbye.
but, it will always be where i left a part of my love.
i miss him...
will you want me again...
the way you use to.
will you look at me again...
like nothing else matter,
no one else existed.
will you love me again...
the way you say you always will.
...will you read this,
and tell me...
the way you use to.
will you look at me again...
like nothing else matter,
no one else existed.
will you love me again...
the way you say you always will.
...will you read this,
and tell me...
day shine
in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.
words seem to be floating in the air,
grabbing it one by one,
fitting it into a sentence of the heart.
thoughts seem to linger around,
following the shadow of her body,
trying to find the light to start.
sunsets will leave it all for tonight,
and tomorrow your smile will shine,
in the silence or in the storm.
begin in His name,
and the rest will be a-okay.
words seem to be floating in the air,
grabbing it one by one,
fitting it into a sentence of the heart.
thoughts seem to linger around,
following the shadow of her body,
trying to find the light to start.
sunsets will leave it all for tonight,
and tomorrow your smile will shine,
in the silence or in the storm.
begin in His name,
and the rest will be a-okay.
subaidah #12
no matter how far we are,
or who we are with,
we will always be looking at the same night sky,
the same orion's belt.
or who we are with,
we will always be looking at the same night sky,
the same orion's belt.
subaidah #11
his struggle to love,
is his pursuit of happiness,
that attempt to forget,
to ease her desire to move on.
the day
neither a hopeful or wishful prayer,
but a thought that lingers.
i'm scared that one day will come,
the day that i'll be okay without you.
 |
| IUB, 2008 |
winter greets
in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.
winter snow covers the town,
the first of its season,
winter chill rushes the skin,
leaving a scratchy rough touch,
winter wonder there lives a girl,
with love walking along side her,
dreaming of the next time winter greets.
winter snow covers the town,
the first of its season,
winter chill rushes the skin,
leaving a scratchy rough touch,
winter wonder there lives a girl,
with love walking along side her,
dreaming of the next time winter greets.
it was 2011
in His name, most Exalting, most Forgiving.
and peace be upon you.
there was a loss of a man,
one that most never knew,
expect through his loud silence,
and cheerful smile.
al-fatihah.
a spoiled, pampered, loving creature,
said her peace,
left behind five little snowballs.
a blessed, joyous days,
spent exchanging words of forgiveness,
on the computer screen to familiar faces,
so far from touch,
yet, closer to the heart than ever before.
twenty one became an unreserved number.
all happened in such a distant,
lost on how to react.
love became an aura of pleasure,
a desire for more,
and in a ring-shaped item,
with a small and sweet sparkle,
but etched in the heart, forever.
relationships became afar,
only holding on to the unconditionals,
nothing to exchange but prayers and trust.
it was everything but just 2011,
and to make something of 2012.
and peace be upon you.
there was a loss of a man,
one that most never knew,
expect through his loud silence,
and cheerful smile.
al-fatihah.
a spoiled, pampered, loving creature,
said her peace,
left behind five little snowballs.
a blessed, joyous days,
spent exchanging words of forgiveness,
on the computer screen to familiar faces,
so far from touch,
yet, closer to the heart than ever before.
twenty one became an unreserved number.
all happened in such a distant,
lost on how to react.
love became an aura of pleasure,
a desire for more,
and in a ring-shaped item,
with a small and sweet sparkle,
but etched in the heart, forever.
relationships became afar,
only holding on to the unconditionals,
nothing to exchange but prayers and trust.
it was everything but just 2011,
and to make something of 2012.
happy new years.
 |
| IUB, November 2011 |
lo(trust)ve
in between love, there must be trust,
but sometimes, those two things can break,
two most beautiful parts of life,
love and trust.
 |
| Madison, Wisconsin -- Midwest 2011 |
23
he is 23 today :)
alhamdulilah.
i asked if i could blow the candles on the birthday cake for him?
for silently, i want to wish that, i get to spend more birthdays with him.
perhaps, just maybe, grow old together.
may He bless him in every step he takes on this Journey,
and stay contented with us and our families.
alhamdulilah.
i asked if i could blow the candles on the birthday cake for him?
for silently, i want to wish that, i get to spend more birthdays with him.
perhaps, just maybe, grow old together.
may He bless him in every step he takes on this Journey,
and stay contented with us and our families.
future husband? yes, please
He finished his prayer and walked over to his wife. He sat down with her and took her hands. He began to read something while he held her fingers. She asked, “What did you do?” He answered, “I finished my prayer and got ready to do tasbih (glorifying God) on your hands so we can share the ajar (reward, and insha'Allah we will be together in paradise too.”
oh my heart...
oh my heart...
on you.
make yourself my first,
make yourself my last,
because i won't give up,
even in this silence.
make yourself my last,
because i won't give up,
even in this silence.
motivated again!
in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.
yesterday, as i got distracted in class, a reminder from Him came in this form...
"but here's my kata2-- if you look for something good, you will find it; and if you look for something bad, you will also find it. so set the sail with that first nawaitu. insha'Allah all will be khair regardless of what/when/where/how." (ayah)
and today, just as i was about to take a break, He sent another reminder...
just a sign for me to keep me striving, no matter how difficult it can and will get.
...but i can't help but ponder, could this just be a sign that i almost gave up and gave in?
how can one not be thankful? alhamdulilah, what a good wake up call.
yesterday, as i got distracted in class, a reminder from Him came in this form...
"but here's my kata2-- if you look for something good, you will find it; and if you look for something bad, you will also find it. so set the sail with that first nawaitu. insha'Allah all will be khair regardless of what/when/where/how." (ayah)
and today, just as i was about to take a break, He sent another reminder...
just a sign for me to keep me striving, no matter how difficult it can and will get.
...but i can't help but ponder, could this just be a sign that i almost gave up and gave in?
how can one not be thankful? alhamdulilah, what a good wake up call.
1 out of 3 weeks
in His name, most High, most Powerful.
things to do:
- sleep
- shower
- 4 pack coffee in the fridge
- M485 synthesis write up
- P303 reflection paper 3
- C341 exam on alkane, alkene, alkyne
- X200 statistical analysis assignment
things to do:
subaidah #10
in His name, All-Knowing, most Forgiving.
and peace be upon you.
it was never easy,
it is not easy,
it'll never be easy,
on every thanksgiving day,
the day hello,
became goodbye,
and lovers became strangers.
and peace be upon you.
it was never easy,
it is not easy,
it'll never be easy,
on every thanksgiving day,
the day hello,
became goodbye,
and lovers became strangers.
 |
| Thanksgiving @TT201, 2008 |
the wheel goes round&round
in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.
for the first time, coffee traveled down my throat.
the caffeine triggered a rush of adrenaline,
and late night became a breeze,
staying awake during the day was a mission accomplished.
next week is another round of this madness,
that i wish i don't have to repeat,
in hopes of a better outcome :)
result: above average, failed, can do better.
for the first time, coffee traveled down my throat.
the caffeine triggered a rush of adrenaline,
and late night became a breeze,
staying awake during the day was a mission accomplished.
next week is another round of this madness,
that i wish i don't have to repeat,
in hopes of a better outcome :)
result: above average, failed, can do better.
Eve
Women are not created weaker but more generous than men.
They are created more beautiful and less fierce, as beauty hates to hurt and harm others.
That is why they seem weak to people,
but in reality they are not.
Angels are the strongest of created beings,
and women are closer to the angelic nature than men,
as they are readier than men to carry angelic light.
It is the good manners and ethics of spirituality,
which they carry which makes them less forceful than men.
Even physically, however, they are extremely strong. T
hey undergo great upheavals in their body without flinching for the sake of childbirth,
and face the direst physical conditions more successfully than men because God has enabled them to ensure the survival of generations. (Prophet Muhammad PBUH)
– The Fifth Paradise: The Garden of Beauty and Felicity by Imam Ahmad. (agreed upon by Bukhari & Muslim and it has been narrated by Abu Huraira)
They are created more beautiful and less fierce, as beauty hates to hurt and harm others.
That is why they seem weak to people,
but in reality they are not.
Angels are the strongest of created beings,
and women are closer to the angelic nature than men,
as they are readier than men to carry angelic light.
It is the good manners and ethics of spirituality,
which they carry which makes them less forceful than men.
Even physically, however, they are extremely strong. T
hey undergo great upheavals in their body without flinching for the sake of childbirth,
and face the direst physical conditions more successfully than men because God has enabled them to ensure the survival of generations. (Prophet Muhammad PBUH)
– The Fifth Paradise: The Garden of Beauty and Felicity by Imam Ahmad. (agreed upon by Bukhari & Muslim and it has been narrated by Abu Huraira)
 |
| Eid-ul-Fitr, 2011 |
a typical day
in His name, most Merciful, most Beneficient.
have you been in class and the professor is lecturing too fast,
you just want to scream?
a pretty amazing person lend me his recorder.
thank you,
bahaha.
have you been in class and the professor is lecturing too fast,
you just want to scream?
a pretty amazing person lend me his recorder.
thank you,
bahaha.
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