it was 2011

in His name, most Exalting, most Forgiving.
and peace be upon you.

there was a loss of a man,
one that most never knew,
expect through his loud silence,
and cheerful smile.
al-fatihah.

a spoiled, pampered, loving creature,
said her peace,
left behind five little snowballs.

a blessed, joyous days,
spent exchanging words of forgiveness,
on the computer screen to familiar faces,
so far from touch,
yet, closer to the heart than ever before.

twenty one became an unreserved number.

all happened in such a distant,
lost on how to react.

love became an aura of pleasure,
a desire for more,
and in a ring-shaped item,
with a small and sweet sparkle,
but etched in the heart, forever.

relationships became afar,
only holding on to the unconditionals,
nothing to exchange but prayers and trust.

it was everything but just 2011,
and to make something of 2012.

happy new years. 

IUB, November 2011

lo(trust)ve

in between love, there must be trust,

but sometimes, those two things can break,

two most beautiful parts of life,

love and trust.

Madison, Wisconsin -- Midwest 2011

23

he is 23 today :)

alhamdulilah.

i asked if i could blow the candles on the birthday cake for him?
for silently, i want to wish that, i get to spend more birthdays with him.
perhaps, just maybe, grow old together.

may He bless him in every step he takes on this Journey,
and stay contented with us and our families.

future husband? yes, please

He finished his prayer and walked over to his wife. He sat down with her and took her hands. He began to read something while he held her fingers. She asked, “What did you do?” He answered, “I finished my prayer and got ready to do tasbih (glorifying God) on your hands so we can share the ajar (reward, and insha'Allah we will be together in paradise too.”

oh my heart...

on you.

make yourself my first,
make yourself my last,
because i won't give up,
even in this silence.


 
"be patience now on because His tests will be heavier" (ibu)

motivated again!

in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.

yesterday, as i got distracted in class, a reminder from Him came in this form...

"but here's my kata2-- if you look for something good, you will find it; and if you look for something bad, you will also find it. so set the sail with that first nawaitu. insha'Allah all will be khair regardless of what/when/where/how." (ayah)

and today, just as i was about to take a break, He sent another reminder...

just a sign for me to keep me striving, no matter how difficult it can and will get.
...but i can't help but ponder, could this just be a sign that i almost gave up and gave in?
how can one not be thankful? alhamdulilah, what a good wake up call.

1 out of 3 weeks

in His name, most High, most Powerful.

things to do:
- sleep
- shower
- 4 pack coffee in the fridge
- M485 synthesis write up
- P303 reflection paper 3
- C341 exam on alkane, alkene, alkyne
- X200 statistical analysis assignment

subaidah #10

in His name, All-Knowing, most Forgiving.
and peace be upon you.

it was never easy,
it is not easy,
it'll never be easy,
on every thanksgiving day,
the day hello,
became goodbye,
and lovers became strangers.

Thanksgiving @TT201, 2008

the wheel goes round&round

in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.

for the first time, coffee traveled down my throat.
the caffeine triggered a rush of adrenaline,
and late night became a breeze,
staying awake during the day was a mission accomplished.
next week is another round of this madness,
that i wish i don't have to repeat,
in hopes of a better outcome :)

result: above average, failed, can do better.

Eve

Women are not created weaker but more generous than men.
They are created more beautiful and less fierce, as beauty hates to hurt and harm others.
That is why they seem weak to people,
but in reality they are not.
Angels are the strongest of created beings,
and women are closer to the angelic nature than men,
as they are readier than men to carry angelic light.
It is the good manners and ethics of spirituality,
which they carry which makes them less forceful than men.
Even physically, however, they are extremely strong. T
hey undergo great upheavals in their body without flinching for the sake of childbirth,
and face the direst physical conditions more successfully than men because God has enabled them to ensure the survival of generations.  (Prophet Muhammad PBUH)

– The Fifth Paradise: The Garden of Beauty and Felicity by Imam Ahmad.  (agreed upon by Bukhari & Muslim and it has been narrated by Abu Huraira)

Eid-ul-Fitr, 2011

a typical day

in His name, most Merciful, most Beneficient.

have you been in class and the professor is lecturing too fast,
you just want to scream?
a pretty amazing person lend me his recorder.
thank you, ♥s
and here is typical day for me in class,
better than sleeping right?
 bahaha.

ibu oh ibu

in His name, most Merciful, most Beneficient. and peace be upon you.

when your parents also become your friends, they are your best friends.
i can't wait to be half the wife she is to walid.

sea ocean

it has been an absence,
of unbearable tears,
but so as to say a presence,
of  rushing memories.
let not the wind blow your touch,
for her body will shatter.
do you not wonder of her well-being,
is she still smiling the way she use to.
perhaps one day these words,
will find it's way to you,
in a tiny, tightly closed bottle,
with a message,
flowing with the wave in the vast open sea.

in time

“She followed slowly, taking a long time,
As though there were some obstacles in the way;
And yet: as though, once it was overcome,
She would be beyond all walking, and would fly." -Rainer Maria Rilke

speak.

my voice can only go so loud, 

so i'm going to let those that bared witness to my love,

to tell you of it.

selalu dihatiku

in His name, the All-Knowing, the All-Hearing.

why is it that the heart still yearns,
for your non-existence love?

maybe one day,
He will utter for it to be,
and become it will.

until then,
let the silent prayers be,
the blanket to the heart that shvvers,
for the warmth of your love.
let the Sun,
light the Faces on the earth,
let the million stars shine with the moon,
to show of the Greatness of what became to be.




















"He has divided His mercy from His creation into 100 parts. A part of this mercy has been bestowed upon this world, and the rest of the 99 parts have been reserved for the Day of Judgement." (Bukhari)

subaidah #9

i love you.
did you know that?
do you know that?

...what is this feeling?
must there be distant,
and silence,
to know of that love?

promise me,
that you knew i love you,
that you know i love.

delivery from afar

in His name, most Gracious, most Beneficient.
&& peace be upon you.

at one point in my life, everything seemed so far from touch.
what can only be seen on computer screen,
through the brilliant ideas of geniuses who invented skype,
what can only be heard through the speakers of the little black device,
it was more than enough.
but it was the feel of those things that kept me reaching,
yet, nothing to be felt.
until, a part of my heart is in the same time zone as me.
it was not enough,
but it was more than i could ever ask for at this point.
all praise be due to Him.

opah bangi's famous pineapple tart :)

hihihi. my maggi stock, hopefully last until May.

ibu wants me to eat healthy also

from Cheras, thanks bro!

more spices

thank goodness bro didn't eat it!

top picked by ayah and momo. and bottom is memories.

once more

dear heart.

be strong yea? 

i know, i can feel your pain, 

but this is no time to give in.

just go with the flow,

and you'll be at the top of the world again.

The heart has its reason which reason knows nothing of. (Pascal)

of one stranger

in His name, the All-Knowing, the All-Aware

without a doubt,

there's a place in her heart,

that beats just for you, dear stranger.

for everyday the sun rises,

for everyday the sun sets,

she whisper her desires to be beside you, dear stranger.

if time is what separates,

let love be closer than ever.

if distance is what stops,

let sincerity move along the path.

"He will not take you to task for that which is unintentional in your oaths. But He will take you to task for that which your hearts have garnered." (1:225)

say wha?!

in His name most Gracious, most Beneficent.

put your thinking cap on,
sew your eyes open,
because nights may no longer exists,
kiss your bed a goodbye,
wave the sofa hello,
because comfort will become a distraction.

organic chemistry quiz #1 and health psychology exam #1
... in His name, i seek Guidance, Knowledge, and Wisdom.

للَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ عِلْمًا نَافِعًا , وَ رِزْقًا طَيَّبًا , وَ عَمَلاً مُتَقَبَّلاً

O Allah! I ask You for knowledge that is of benefit, a good provision and deeds that will be accepted. (Ibn Majah)

fall 2011

before senioritis kicks in, i had to figure something out to make sure i don't fall short of such an illness.
and this is the best i could come up with at the time...

when you are dream-oriented,
you become goal-oriented,
&& my dream is to become goal-oriented.

God willing... it's going to be a challenging semester

amii's and walid's voice on paper

and this is the summary of my life this semester

subaidah #8

the heart was once ignited with that tender loving care,

then in just a tick of the clock,

it was extinguished,

never to see even the reminensce of the smoke,

what will it take to spark the heart again...

last terawih 1432H

in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.

random reasons to think this evening:

he has no idea how much in love i am with him.
and it's all with His permission and their acceptance.
praise be to Him.

i pray that this is the first and last Ramadan and Eid alone.
next year, i want to greet both months with him and them in front of my eyes.
God willing.

tomorrow morning, neuroscience will greet my senior year at 8am.
i've never been so nervous about a class before, and i thought statistic did the job.
guess not.
and physiology of human diseases will wish me a good night on the first day of my senior year at 5pm.
God willing.

i'm homesick.
and just finished making kuih almond london and cornflakes.
roommate is the reason why i'm doing a-okay.
not to say that tears haven't flowed.
glory be to Him.

eid mubarak to all :)
may all our good deeds and prayers during the blessed month be accepted.

selamat hari raya :)
maaf zahir dan batin atas semua salah silap saye.

subaidah #7

one day, three autumns.
if you knew how i felt, would that change anything?

missing love

 It was narrated from Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Three prayers are not rejected: the prayer of a father, the prayer of a fasting person, and the prayer of a traveler.” 

(Narrated by al-Bayhaqi, 3/345; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Saheeh 1797.)

a sudden wind of homesickness passed by

subaidah #6

an exchange of words when it is love.

her: You love to take picture of me when I look terribly messy and when I am mad at you. 
him: That's because it would be easier for me to tell whenever you are mad at me.
him: And i want you to know though your messy and mad face could even make me smile every time i see it...

"Never come looking for me again, now we're estranged, your beloved is no more. so leave with your memories, memories of laughter and tears, now we're estranged, your beloved is no more." (Mujhse Dosti Karoge)

subaidah #5

today, a year ago, was the day she received the small bag,
that would forever mark her heart.
mind wandering back, only becoming a snap of that footage,
it was a dramatic state of art,
on how her heart was stolen. 

it's merdeka, student-style!

in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.
‎

there is something about school that will never be missed,
perhaps it's the long sleepless week,
maybe overworked brain cells,
definitely the overpriced textbooks,
but a place of this heart remains dedicated to education,
the need to have colors of highlighters,
pencil marks all over the sleeves of the shirt,
papers scattered everywhere,
but for now, it's merdeka here for two weeks!


"he who has not endured the stress of study will not taste the joy of knowledge." 
(abd al-latif al-baghdadi)

final week, summer 2011

in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.

the melody of the stomach,
the lullaby that reaches the eyes,
the overwork of the hands and brain,
none of which can stop her from striving,
for only He knows the outcome.

"and that there is nothing for man except what he tried, his efforts shall be seen. And rewarded to fullest extent." (al-Quran 53:39-41)

(untitled)

what is this love that keeps growing for him,
for it still feels unexpected,
yet trapped at each corner of the heart,
only to reveal itself as tears?

"cause i wish you were here with me still, instead of this faraway love." -Rome

5th Ramadan 1432H

in His name, most Loving, most Gracious.

it was an emptiness i felt from their presence and his busy-ness that dragged me to the masjid today,
where i found an indescribable solace in the midst of sisters greeting each other and little kids running around calling their mama and baba. there were more unfamiliar faces than familiar -- but those that were familiar, greeted and immediately ask of my parents. then i realized, how blessed i truly am. for these are the people that kept us in their thoughts and prayers. i pray that amii and walid and adik2 will always be loved and remember where ever they are at as they were here.

iftaar was sponsored and prepared by four college boys (and maybe with a little help), may Allah shower them with His blessings and mercies. nothing about the masjid has changed, the same brother led the prayers (this is when i miss them -- commenting on the slow, beautiful recitations), the same layout, the same smell, just different smiles and the little kids i use to teach at Sunday School have made me officially feel old and short. other than that, it was a breezy night with clear sky up above.

until then, i'll keep missing the six plus the four-legged creatures. fi'amanillah.

“It is better to sit alone than in company with the bad; and it is better still to sit with the good than alone. It is better to speak to a seeker of knowledge than to remain silent; but silence is better than idle words.” (Bukhari)

8/3/2010

ya Ramadhan,
you shine full and bright,
bringing us the Message on a blessed month.
you were much awaited,
patiently anticipated,
dreaming with hope.
what are these tears, that I cry for this world,
will you take me back on the Path of the Almighty.
why are these voices raising higher and rougher,
will you tone it  back down to the level of humility.

ya Ramadhan,
you fill an empty heart,
bringing us a message of remembrance to this forgetful self.
you are dear to an empty soul,
for you brought Love back to the heart.

tick tock tick tock

in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.

while waiting for iftaar on this 5th Ramadhan of 1432H, just wanted to share the my lab experiences.
one in particular was "urine lab" where we had to bring our own "sample" and test the "sample". We test for levels of concentrations, pH level, glucose, ketone, protein, etc :)

Yeay! Time to set up the table for iftaar. Happy iftaar and happy fasting to all. Fi'amanillah.

Tada!

I told loves that's Gatorade Sport Drink

 Health result

1 Ramadhan 1432H

in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful. and peace be upon you.

*burrrrppppp* alhamdulilah :)
frankly speaking, i miss walid reciting the prayer to break our fast and i miss the taste of amii's food melting away in my tongue and dancing in my stomach until my eyes get tired.
and now, i know that i would not trade spending Ramadhan with my family with anything in this world... nothing!
if it was possible to swim the ocean and reach home before sunset, i would have done it in a heartbeat.

this is for amii who is constantly concern (and i love her for it) about what i shove down my throat :) sry no gambar today... forgot. 
menu: bihun goreng (roomate's recipe), apples, and o'malia's french fries... sad huh? but what to do when school is one's priority... not even sleep. hopefully, i can be a bit more adventurous in the kitchen when the semester is over. i miss home.

until then. fi'amanillah.

Ramadhan Mubarak

in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.

today is loves first day of work. alhamdulilah. may it bring blessings to him and everyone around him.
today also is the first day of puasa (fil baiti jannati) that i'm not at home. maybe it's time for me to learn of the sacrifices that walid and amii made so that i can be half the parent they were, insha'Allah :)
not to mention, today is the first day i am given a last chance to keep striving in my physiology class after checking my result yesternight. 

until then, i wish all the muslimin wa muslimat a blessed Ramadhan. fi'amanillah.

insha'Allah khair

in His name, the All-Knowing, most Loving.

this is for loves.

while we're apart, don't give your heart to anyone okay?

HE answered a prayer on 11th of June, 2011 at 10:30pm- Indiana

fi'amanillah

ahlan wa sahlan ya Ramadhan

...we will greet the blessed month in a matter of days..

His boundless mercies and blessing is of this Seeker,
their precious times is of this Wisher,
prayers in the quietest of nights is of this Believer.

Ramadhan 1430H- Bloomington, IN

the man that led the prayer,
the lady that smiled in the kitchen,
the siblings that brought laughter to the dinner table.
the first since 1990, that this blessed month will be full of lonely,
hopeful, wishful, thankful, and faithful tears.

fi'amanillah.

Sahl ibn Sa'd reported that the Prophet (saw) said: "There is a gate to Paradise that is called ar-Rayyan. On the Day of Resurrection it will say: 'Where are those who fasted?' When the last [one] has passed through the gate, it will be locked." [al-Bukhari and Muslim].

bismillah.

oh Allah, answer their prayers.
answer his prayers.
for this is a prayers of your Believer,
only striving to achieve Your utmost love.
for this is my prayer.

knowingly unknown

follow love until the end of time,
a promise that emptiness will never be felt.
she searches day and night,
until one day,
she surrendered,
and there it stood,
a lit path by the light of love,
little did she know,
how far this journey was to be.
in His name,
fear was not an option,
for the anticipation of what is to be,
shines love in her smiles.

summer battle

in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.

i'm in a war,
of pampering my brain and my eyes,
not to mention my heart and my soul,
with words in attempt to soothe,
to stay strong these next four weeks left of this madness.
seven straight months of studying,
the two weeks before continuing will be of productivity,
to get life back in that D4 gear,
heading for that continuous seeking and searching,
of what is it that Life has planned for me.
maybe for now, this is it,
so let use it to the fullest,
no matter how difficult this journey is,
when it's for Life, then there's nothing that can not be overcome.

today, i realize how much i love what i'm learning and enjoying it...
but i wish i could enjoy it more if i understood it a little bit more.
nevermind, keep striving!
as amii and walid would say, strive hard, have fun, and the rest leave it up to Life.
and as loves would say, keep smiling and enjoy it :)
for now, must get back to this enjoyable madness.

fi'amanillah.

ps: if you find a lost phone, return it to the real owner.
it can really make a difference in one person's daily whatabouts.

15th Sha'ban

every opportunity leads to another opportunity.

Deen is the business of the Believers.
They will never miss an opportunity to get Allah's pleasure.

randomthoughts

fate has destiny written down.
while faith has love,
beside, behind, in front, above, and below it.

...just a thought while the water from the shower rushes through the curves of one's body.

Reliance in Him

In His name, most Gracious, most Merciful and peace be upon you.

'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said,

"I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, "If you were to rely on Allah as He should be relied on, He would provide for you as He provides for the birds. They go out in the morning hungry and return in the evening full."


How many times a day do you find yourself relying on Allah for His protection, His guidance, His help?

A few weekends ago, I met with a sister whom I remember always seeing in the masjid. She is a mother of two, one that is just 8 months old. Currently, she is separated from her husband and her oldest child. They moved and she needed to finish up some school-related work. Everything she does, she doesn't fail to utter praises in His name. Cutting a chicken with each stroke, moving the chicken into the oven, washing her baby boy's bottle, picking up her baby... It was a sight of a sore eyes and a melody to a plugged ears. I sat down with her and just talked about her family, and she asked me why am I not yet married. She assured me that there's someone out there that Allah loves just for me. It puzzled me as to why she would asked that and it never daunted on me until I was walking home that she was so happy with what she is given in life despite of all her own trials and tribulation being a mother, a part from her husband and oldest child, taking take of her newborn baby by herself and finishing up her doctrate degree. Then, she told me no matter what you do, never forget to praise Him. Then again, this is the typical thing I always hear. But now, today, it finally hit me, why people always say that. In every utterance of praise to Him we utter, along with each breathe of it is a prayer from deep within the heart...

superman cape

as the sun remain shining brightly outside,
the heart beats like a storm passing by this small town,
restless from anxiety,
nervous from worries,
will you tell me that you are doing okay over there?
if superman gives his cape,
i'd fly over there in a heartbeat.
but for now,
freeing this bird from his pearl white cage,
embroidered in gold columns,
i send with it a hug and a kiss of healing.


"If Allah helps you, none can overcome you: If He forsakes you, who is there, after that, that can help you? In Allah, then, let Believers put their trust." (surah Al-Imran 3:160)

bonda

in His name.

she said,
"may Allah give you:
a rainbow for every storm,
a smile for every fear,
a promise for every care,
a blessing in each trial, and
an answer to each prayer."

and from the deepest part of my heart,
i said,
"amin amin ya Rab al-amin. ya Rabbi, bless her for all the tears she cried, 
the voice she didn't have to raise,
the smiles she smile to rid of her husband and children's fears. 
and for the sleepless nights waiting to count all 5 of her life in bed."

subaidah #4

dear subaidah,
yesterday was my 21st birthday.
did you know?
well, nothing special happened,
all the people i love and wanted to spend the day with,
well, they are just not here,
they are busy going about their lives,
so i too treated it as a normal day.
alhamdulilah, i'm given another year to reflect on His blessings,
and still working toward loving Him the way He should be.
there were a few skype calls, a few texts, a few phone calls,
town friends also dropped by,
now i'm busy replying to all the Facebook comments.
but, there's one thing that still bothers me.
where are you?
i just really wanted to tell you how my day went.
oh btw, my little sister made a homemade birthday card for me,
and ayah and ibu and adik2 signed it.
too bad, mailing things from home is expensive,
but they emailed me pictures of it.
anyways,
when you get the chance to, give me a buzz.
my number hasn't change, my facebook is still active,
my email is checked everyday.
don't forget, one day, we will see the future,
like we never expected it to be.

define

though subjective,
the objectiveness of happiness is defined.

"learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all that you want."

lads and gents...
what are you afraid of by being in pursuit of happiness?
for it is in happiness that we are thankful, grateful,
&& better ourselves.
but forget not that stumbling blocks of life,
is a step closer to that happiness.
&& if you find a person that lives by this,
be not afraid to announce it to the world,
because it is your happiness with that person,
that keeps you pursuing your dream.
:)

fi'amanillah.

physiology exam #1

in His name, the All-Knowing, the Sustainer of All. 

my love for them six,
my longing for them six,
is bigger than the ocean that parts us.

life with Love

the beauty of life is nonexistence without the presences of Love.
in the simplest of things,
we begin to appreciate,
whether it is rice on the plate in front of you,
water dripping from the sky above,
essences of the morning mist and the sensation of the sun when it touches the skin,
the breeze of night time,
of the presence of the person in front of you,
voices that comforts you,
the intelligence of a stranger who brings nighttime and daytime together.
 indeed, the beauty of life is just nonexistence without the presences of Love.
and she has come to realize that being a thousand and one miles apart from,

the six that life is worth living for,
the six that keeps her going,
it is Love that hears of the words spoken while she sleeps,
the prayers that is uttered while she studies,
the praise she recites in the beautiful stumble blocks of life.

-in peace&with Love-

358

in His name, most Merciful, most Beneficient.

it's been awhile since i've written, almost a week to be exact.
but that doesn't mean that words are not constantly written in my mind,
or even with certain words, being etched in my heart.
seven days that have passed, but the fact,
it remains, time needs to rewind,
and replay all the memories, from the start,
until the day he left me with only memories,
to keep me going for the next,
three hundred and fifty eights days.

natural

did i tell you how much i love you today?

should i write it in the rain puddle?

or do you prefer that i carve in on the trees down the streets?
or maybe you saw it in the shapes of the clouds...

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” (Rumi)

him

in His name, most Gracious, most Merciful.

  i call him loves. because he is a gift and a test from the One Above to love and cherish.

for what is love, in the absence of prayers and faith.
as the sun set, she prays that it was him, is him, and will always be him.

untitled

grant me haya' wa yakeen, ya Rabbi.

subaidah no.3

in His name, the All-Mighty, the Sustainer of All.

today, i passed you by,
noticing that you have come to entertain another beautiful one,
the aura of your love,
i wish was still awaiting my presence.
today, i passed you by,
realizing that it's time for me to leave,
once and for all.
may the beautiful one bring you happiness,
color the ways you arrange your life,
brightens your day from daytime to nighttime.
today, i passed you by,
leaving behind all the memories,
only in hope that it will not follow my shadow.
today, i pass you by,
wishing you peace and goodbye.

Madison, Wisconsin - Midwest, 2011

fi'amanillah.

subaidah no.2

the silence in the words i speak,
for if only you knew the meaning,
of a yearning heart,
will you then come and exchange warmth,
from your touch, your smiles, your laughs.
climbing up the mountain high of emotions,
so distant to reach the top,
conquering what must be,
in the silence of the words spoken,
only once at the peak will the wind blow,
the meaning to you,
of a yearning heart,
my heart.

simple is good

let's keep this one simply,
no abstract phrasing,
yet still pure from the heart,

my "h7ub" for you, i hope is blessed.
because it keeps growing before my only two eyes.
each and everyday i pray for us to be one,
to do all the cliche things lovers do,
to embark on new adventures that no one has,
for if He is contented,
i know our time will come.

oh, yes... i am a bit homesick right now.
so summer please come slowly and pass by quickly,
because i don't want to be alone.

Count On Me -Bruno Mars

dear subaidah,
where we are right now,
the words we've exchanged,
you are the best friend,
i can count on.
but do you know, you can count on me?

and this one, was and is still for you.

finals week, spring 2011

in His name and His 99 attributes.
and peace be upon you.

as finals week came to an end, a rush of emotions conquered my thoughts -- with summer classes, being alone in a quite big apartment, junior year coming to an end, senior year starting, my final results, the little broski leaving for four months, and graduation. but let's just let fate and destiny to its job, i just have to be ready to face it -- maybe with more laughter than tears, or maybe not, maybe more smiles than frown, or perhaps not, but for sure with a lot of love and prayers :)

until we meet again, statistics.  thank you to loves for always helping me.

spring 2012, insha'Allah khair

sinar

it rains his name,

now, she closes her eyes,

as the droplet touches,

softly down her skin.

renew this feeling of love,

into the night until sunrise,

over and over again.

look into the hidden context of these words that is before your eyes.

"mean what you say and say what you mean"

it's also and even more so about the actions than of the words.

thank you, ibu for your reminder.

fi'amanillah.

His Contentment

you is all she wants,
you is what she needs,
your touch,
your smell,
your prayers, your love.
for are you in tranquility,
with her,
with His contentment?

she wants you to want her,

she needs you to need her,

her touch, her smell,

her prayers, her love,

for she wants to be in tranquility,

with you,

with His contentment.

"And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought." (Al-Quran 30:21)

truth

...it doesn't hide nor conceals itself.

"O Allah! There is nothing easy except what You make easy, 

and You make the difficult easy if it be Your Will."

time-out

in His name, all-Knowing, most Beneficent.

this week.
one 5-page paper on Burdah analysis.
genetics exam
statistics exam.
psychological brain and science exam.

but time and distance is a challenge that can be conquered. that's just a fact of love.

"Happiness is not the absence of problems from one's life, but the capability to deal with those problems and enjoy the blessings one has." -Yasir Qadhi

Home -Michael Bubble

another winter day has come,

and gone away,

in even Paris and Rome,

and i wanna go home,

let me go home.

and i'm surrounded by,

a million people i,

still feel all alone,

oh, let me go home,

oh, i miss you, you know.

O'Hare Airport, Chicago -July 20

nothing-ness

you wanted honesty,
when i gave you honesty,
you find fault in every bit of it,
so now tell me,
what am i suppose to do?
what do you want?

because my love seems to mean nothing to you.

silence

in His name, the All-Knowing, the All-Mighty.

a silent smile is a screaming heart.
for if Love could fix this,
let it be today,
for tomorrow it may persists.

Allah says in a Hadith Qudsi, "When a believer takes one step towards me, I take ten towards him. When a believer walks towards me, I come running."